If Draco were gay
by T3hWh1t3P4nth3r
Summary: Draco thinks he's going to get a quiet evening alone. Poor Draco... Things just never work out for him, do they? Short little drabble that me and my friend have done this as a skit to...


Author's Note: I'm really bored right now… And yes, I know that I have my "Brothers by Choice" fic to be working on. But I just can't focus right now. I just finished a paper for Brit Lit. So, this is just me typing when I'm bored. Be warned: It could get retarded, weird, awkward, lemony, anything is fair game right now. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: nothing is mine. Jeez! How many times do I have to tell you guys…

Draco was relaxing in the common room that the head boy and girl shared. He had it all to himself because Hermione had gone to the library for the day. He was enjoying the peace and quiet, reading his favorite book, _Broadway Musicals of the 1940's, _and sipping a cup of Earl Grey tea. Suddenly, his deranged cousin, Raievyin LeStrange, burst through the door.

"Well, hi Draco!" she cried, seeming to be in a very good mood.

"Hi, Raievyin…" Draco sighed, closing his book and resting his chin on his hand.

"Hey, Draco! You'll never guess what happened to me on the train this morning. This girl was smiling at me and talking to me…"

"Hmmm, that's very interesting." Draco just wanted to get back to his book.

"Yeah. She was being REAL friendly. And I think she was coming onto me!" Raievyin looked like she had just realized this. "I think she might have thought I was GAY!"

Draco clears his throat. "So-So why are you telling ME this, hmm? Why should I care? I DON'T care. What did you have for lunch today?"

"Well, you don't have to get all defensive-"

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" He took a brief second to recompose himself. "What do I care about some gay girl you met, okay? I am TRYING to READ."

"Well, I didn't MEAN anything by it Draco…" She said, sitting next to her cousin. "I just think it's something WE should be able to talk about"

"Well, I do not want to "talk" about it, Raievyin. This conversation is over," he said, scooting a little bit away from her.

"Oh, but Draco-" she started to protest.

"OVER!" He turned his attention back to his book and tried to find his place.

"Well, okay. But just so you know…" She grabbed her cousins shoulders. "If you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean, cuz hey! I'd like you anyway." Draco gave a lofty sigh. "Because, you see," she continued. "If it were ME, I would feel FREE to say that I was gay. But I'm not gay."

Draco glared at his cousin over the top of his book. "Raievyin, please. I am trying to read." She is quiet for about 3 seconds before she too gives a long, drawn out sigh. "What?" he snaps.

"If you were queer-"

"Ugh, Raievyin-"

"I'd still be here-"

"Raievyin, I am trying to read this book!-"

"Year after year-"

"Raievyin!-"

"Because you're dear to me. And I know that you-"

"What?-"

"Would accept me too-"

"I would?-"

"If I told you today: Hey! Guess what! I'm gay! But I'm not gay. I'm happy just being with you-"

"I could choose. Pal Vincent-"

"So, what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" She pelvic thrusts.

"Raievyin, that is WRONG!-"

"No, it's not! If you were gay, I'd shout HOORAY!-"

"I am NOT listening!-"

"And here I'd stay-"

Draco plugs his ears like a child. "La-la-la-la-la!-"

"But I wouldn't get in your way," Draco tries to leave the room.

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day to tell you 'It's okay. You were just born that way-" Draco turns around and glares at her. "And as they say, it's in your D.N.A. you're gay!"

"I am NOT gay!" Draco shouts at her.

"If you WERE gay…" she shrugs.

"UGH!" Draco throws down his book and storms out of the room.

Note: ok, so it kinda ended up being a song fic. If you can name the musical that the song came from, you will get a hug from the ever sexy – yet, possibly gay… - Draco Malfoy! Again., I don't own Draco *tear*, Hogwarts or the song lyrics. The OC was created by a friend of mine, so I quite literally own NOTHING of this fic. I'm just the one who typed it up. REVIEW! ^-^


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